I’ll start my topic today by mentioning that I do agree with the saying, “Envy is the thief of joy.” However, I’ve definitely had moments of being envious about other women’s success. It never lasts long, maybe a moment at the most but it happens.
There’s always that one girl though that we find ourselves envious of. The one whose body bounced back to pre-pregnancy shape less than a week after she delivered (come on, SERIOUSLY LADY?!). The one girl who always manages to look effortlessly stylish regardless that she’s a mom to three young children. The one girl who manages all of that plus she is INSANELY generous & kind so you realize you really are a jerk for thinking negative about her (totally not saying I’ve done this, just saying for example haha!)
But here’s what I’ve learned after coaching hundreds of clients: Wanting to be that one girl can either propel you toward your goal… or completely paralyze you.
Today I’m going to share some practical strategies to help you move from body envy to body action. I’ll show you how to use this kind of comparison to work for you, instead of against you.
Tip #1: Stop procrastinating & Do something for yourself: Why are you comparing yourself to another woman, or women? Often I’ll find that I compare myself to others when I am procrastinating (like when I’m mindlessly scrolling my newsfeed, doing nothing productive) – two bad habits in one! The next time you find yourself falling down the rabbit hole of envy, stop and do something productive! It can be anything . . . organizing your messy desk, getting outside for some fresh air, going to the gym. . . do anything but procrastinate. It can make a world of difference on your perspective. You’ll soon forget about anyone else.
Tip #2: Focus on your own achievement: Choose a goal that has ZERO to do with your weight or clothing size. This is especially valuable for those of us with body image issues. Why? Because when you try something for the first time you're going to have to focus on the goal rather than yourself. This will give your mind a reboot. As you become more competent, you'll develop TRUE confidence in your abilities. Choose something hard, uncomfortable, and a little outside of your current abilities (like running your first ½ marathon, completing a MudRun, or entering a fitness competition).
Tip #3: Remember that one girl actually doesn’t exist: It’s easy to believe that Everyone Else is doing so much better than you. Everyone Else is losing weight or gaining muscle or getting fitter so much faster and more effortlessly than you. Everyone Else has their shit together. It feels like you’re the only person in the world with your problems. That it’s much harder for you than for everyone else. But the truth is: No one can escape the reality of family and deadlines and the thermodynamic laws that govern metabolism.
It’s only once we’re able to be honest about what’s going on in our lives — to stop worrying about being the only person who isn’t fit enough, smart enough, together enough, getting enough things done in a day, a good enough mom / wife / worker, whatever — that you can start becoming your own version of That One Girl.
I hope these tips are helpful and encourage you to turn body envy into action!
Talk to you soon,